Three years down the road from my last experiences with the Familial Trust I want to thank those who participated in my growth. Who helped me alter the focus of my life from trying to control someone else - to changing and managing me; who gave me tools to stop and walk around an obstacle to view the other side, before trying to change it to suit me, climb over it, prune it to size, or run it down.

Everyday I am grateful. I am grateful for my calm life, for the ability to choose how to respond to challenges each day, for the perspective that the life lessons of cumulative groups have given me, for the skills I learnt while working through our family's circle of addiction behaviours and influences, and how I can now use those tools to frame the behaviour of the adult child in my life who most emulates the family "isms".

I exercise the power to invite people (including adult son) into my life on terms that are healthy for me, and ask them to stay away or limit my contact with them when they are behaving in chaotic ways that have the potential to draw me back into that sick dance of old. It's really really scary to do this (you're behaviour is making me sick, I can’t be around you just now), but it's what I need to be ok and it works for me.

I get to sleep all night without waking even when people I love (and would once have rescued or died trying) are making choices that will result in them receiving a massive life gift (knowledge is a gift, the consequence of your actions is knowledge, even when it hurts), and on the occasional day when I am presented with a dreadful decision or a breathtakingly manipulative act - I wield the power and strength to do what’s best for me.

When it gets close to the line I still run through my mental litanies.... "Right here right now I'm ok, I'm warm, I'm fed, I'm clothed, I’m safe, I'm ok", "who owns this?", " what do I need to be ok?".... The polite self messaging..." thank you for talking, but I'm not listening right now"; the serenity prayer, my gratitude list, and last but not least - thank you to my higher power (and Karen).

Every day I am grateful. I am grateful that I knew our addict. I am incredibly grateful for the treatment and care I received from the Familial Trust. I am grateful that I am the sum total of all my life experiences. But I am most glad that I have moved to a place in my life where if something doesn't feel right, I know I can choose my path consciously…. (Even if somedays I have to take a moment).

Diane XX 

"Thank you for your love, creativity, sensitivity, support, hard work and commitment. Being here has been an awesome experience. We need more like you"

"I had been searching for thirty years for the answers I found on the program"

"I have made changes in my life that I never thought possible"

"Now I have explanations for the way I was acting most of my life"

"Awesome program...helped me heaps. Kia Kaha

"I credit doing the course with the experience I am having now. I feel that the lid has been lifted"

"The program was better than I imagined. It brought up feelings for me and when I expressed them I was listened to. It has given me feelings of self worth-hope-validation. A wonderful experience"

"Thank you for all the taonga of wisdom that you have given me. I feel that my kete is full and that my whanau and I will benefit from your generosity. Thank you for sharing your passion and your vision of this program. May God bless you."

"This program was awesome.  I really needed more direction as to where I was heading and the yucky stuff that wasn't mine I can throw away and deal with the stuff that is mine properly and forever!  It isn't for only people affected by addiction because a lot of stuff we talk about is around everyone including "normal" people.  But thank you very much."

"This course has helped me get rid of things I didn't need and gave me things I did.  I can't put into words the amount of help this course (and Karen) have done for me.  Thank you."

"I have really enjoyed this program and found it has helped me a lot to understand my family and me better. I think it has a lot to offer people and recommend it to anybody who is seeking help." 

"I know that the Trust has helped me a lot in understanding about addiction.  It has helped me become more confident in who I am.  I now know why I had so much anger, shame and guilt.  It is also things I can use in everyday life, not just when I'm here."